Random Musings

Should Wives Obey Their Husbands?

Should wives obey their husbands? Many of us go along with this thinking it Biblical, but is it? I’m not so sure. When I saw this post the other day on Facebook it got my hackles up:

“if you have issues with submission and obedience to your husband…….. I’d be willing to bet your relationship with ABBA isn’t going so great either. Our husbands are the representation of Yahuah in our households. Treat them as such.”

Not just mine either. A huge discussion broke out about abuse in real relationships. And marriages unequally yoked – what are they supposed to do?

I suggested as the first person to post that she had it backwards.

It depends on whether your husband is in alignment with Torah. This isn’t necessarily true in a lot of families. I think this line of thought has kept women in bondage and abusive relationships far too long. I would phrase it that if a women is in a submissive and obedient relationship with Abba they will know how to have a good and quality relationship with their spouse and or when to leave him. Our husbands being a covering is based on a Pauline principle that leaves out a bunch of women who are not married and can lead to eternal marriage ideas like the LDS have.

Her response to me:

yes some men have some are not in alignment with Torah yet should be treated the same way. When we personify the love of Yah and live our our role as wives the way He intended, it changes men and they eventually fall into their role as leader. With the exception of course of someone dealing with significant mental health issues. Like abusive men. Although honestly we are told how to deal with being tested this way and it’s the same. Hate to break it to you but spousal abuse isn’t condemned in scripture although it isn’t what Yah intends for a marriage. I feel for those women deeply though. She stores up crowns in heaven for herself. Not a popular opinion I know ??‍♀️ you don’t have to agree.

My response back

Some men aren’t leaders and some women are. The gift is knowing how to lead from behind. Yah might hate divorce but he divorced Israel. If a man is physically abusing his wife he has broken covenant (which is a contract) and once the covenant is broken the contract is no longer valid. The covenant on his side says love honor and PROTECT. Hers is to love honor and OBEY) when either of them breaks the contract it only continues at the willingness of both parties. You can believe what you want about obedience and submission but if you both aren’t grounded in following the Father no amount of obedience and submission is going to change a person.

an addition to that response:

My original point is that you have your statement backwards. If a woman is obedient to Abba she will know how to love her husband. There are an awful lot of people who got married young and have grown over the years. In my family we have a division of labor for the running of the home. However my husband is a dispensationalist (Pauline christian) Me, I follow the Torah.

I don’t eat things that aren’t food, don’t buy them or let them in the house. For awhile, in the beginning, I was militant (not submissive) now I look at it as though it is between him and his god.

He isn’t my covering. He isn’t obedient to Yahuah. I love him. We have been married for 25 years and have children together. I pray for him. But I don’t argue with him over these things. If one focuses on pleasing the Father all the other problems will sort themselves out. Love covers a multitude of sins but don’t allow victimization by evil men.

Lots of other comments happened between this and the next comment.

My final response to the question, Should Wives Obey Their Husbands

The verse says that that women will WANT to control their husbands but that he WILL rule over them. Not that that is the order of things, just that that is what will happen as a result of the what has happened.

Let’s Look At What Actually Happened when Eve Chose To Be Obedient To Her Husband

Eve instructed to help Adam remember Yahuah, failed! (she was his priest and defender). But really she failed in that BECAUSE she listened to her husband instead of Yahuah. In miss translating what her husband told her Yahuah said – not to eat the fruit OR EVEN TOUCH IT – she ended up dooming them both.

And really Adam didn’t get doomed until he decided to keep his wife. Eve, was being subservient and obedient to Adam, not Yahuah – Adam then blamed her for all his troubles. So in effect this whole obedience/subservient thing (which comes only from Paul BTW) is really of the devil.

The Results?

It allows women to revel in spiritual laziness and men to avoid spiritual responsibility.

I say stand up young women – be like Deborah and Leah and Sarah and the woman at the well and Mary (not Martha)

Be strong. Love the Lord your Elohim with all your mind, heart, strength and being. Give it EVERYTHING you’ve got. Love others as yourself.

Don’t preach, don’t argue – live out your life as an example to others.

Above all don’t let others judge you!

If you think what you are doing is going to cause you or your children harm (mentally or physically) move away from that.

Living with a man who is not living a Godly life will lead your children astray as well. Divorce IS BIBLICAL. Marriage is a contract. When a contract is broken it is null and void. It is an if – then proposition. Not something to be done lightly, but then again marriage shouldn’t be entered into lightly either.

In Summary

Ultimately the answer to the question, should wives obey their husbands, is no. Obeying Yahuah must come first. Ultimately He holds us each accountable on the day of judgement.

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